Chapter 8, part 1

After making excuses for her at lunch and going in before her to explain the situation to the prince, Ingrid came to get her and let her into the prince's chamber where he was waiting for her. He looked angry, but more composed than the day before. She greeted him politely and sat down before he could ask her to. As long as he didn't know what she had been trying to do, she would act with confidence and lie. She would not let him throw her out before she had done everything she possibly could to get to stay.

"I'm sorry, sir," she said. The prince nodded and waited for her to continue. Maybe he was less angry than she thought she was. "I was trying to get close to the princess, and she seemed completely relaxed. Then out of the blue she started telling me that she knew I was a liar. I don't think she is going to tell anyone, and I didn't confirm any of the things she said."

"And you little game before that?"

She hadn't expected Ingrid to tell him that many details of the princess' words. She should have expected it. "I'm sorry, sir. I thought I would make it look like I was helping her," she lied.

"Helping her by telling her completely random lies about what I want in a woman, if I understand correctly?"

"Well, I didn't know what to tell her exactly. I just gave little hints and signs and allowed her to interpret them."

"When did I tell you to do anything that stupid? I told you to nod, smile and win their confidence! Princess Iris happens to be one very powerful woman, and you have just made an enemy of her. It's one thing that she figured out that you were lying, but to have her know that you are actively working against her?"

"I'm not working against her, really, sir, I promise, I wasn't thinking."

"She does not know that. Stupid girl! I have given you every reason to help me, I expect you to make an effort."

Catherine tried to breathe calmly. His pale, angry face was not doing anything to calm her despite their strange conversation the night before. She still didn't trust him not to kill her, and she didn't know how to pretend to be thankful for an opportunity to stay off the streets for a few months. She nodded.

Suddenly she was sure that the prince stared at her more intently than before. She forced herself not to look away. He slowly rose from his chair and started moving towards her.

"If you don't help me, you will be back out there where your family is your only way to avoid starvation. How would you like that? I suggest you think before you act the next time." He was standing too close to her, invading the space she was in. But his voice was less harsh than it had been a few days earlier.

She nodded.

"I'm aware of that, sir."

"Good. Now technically you did rather well. You got to talk to her in private. So tell me what you thought."

Catherine did not dare to lie again.

"She is very intelligent. She knows a lot and she figures the rest out. She's graceful and friendly unless she gets angry. Then she's pretty honest and very scary. I don't think she's easy to trick."

The prince nodded.

"Well that was obvious already. But thank you." He took a few steps around the room. "This was not bad at all. It doesn't matter what she thinks of you as long as she keeps her opinion private. We know how she stands now. And frankly I have nothing to judge by other than that."

Catherine just hoped that meant that it would take him a very long time to decide. She smiled at him. He looked startled for a moment. Then he sent her a friendly nod.

"You can go now."

"Thank you, sir."

Catherine left for her own rooms and did not bother to call for Ingrid, who was for some reason not with her. She stayed in her rooms and took another long bath. She knew for certain that she would fail if she tried to play games with the more mature and educated minds around her. There was no way she would try to do so again. The prince had a very difficult decision to make either way, and she did not think that it would get easier. Apparently he had no idea any more. If she was lucky, she would get a few more weeks or months of living in the castle. She could not do anything about that.

But she could prepare. She had an allowance. If she did not spend it on something useful it might simply disappear when her time was up. She would ask Ingrid about making purchases in the morning. Then she would do her best to stay close to the women in the castle. She would be as useful as she could and hope for some sort of gratitude later on.

She dried herself in a large, soft towel and dressed in a soft nightgown. There was no one around to complain about the fact that she did not call a maid to help her. She would enjoy that as much as she planned on enjoying the rest of her stay.

The bed was large and soft and the covers felt like air. The room around her glowed in the candlelight and the paintings on the wall were like windows into other worlds. She would miss the luxury of that. But she would also find some way to make sure she would not go straight to sleeping on the ground.

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Chapter 7, part 5

“I have been brought up to be something near the opposite. I have been told to be silent, dignified and feminine, not to be loud and running around. I never felt the desire to make myself the centre of attention like that.”

Catherine tried to look sympathetic. If she could get this one princess to loose a small bit of her confidence she might still be up against a lot of beauty and perfect, long hair, but she would have a slightly better chance. And a sudden change in behaviour might confuse the prince.

“I thank you for the advice, my dear, but I think I will stick to most of what I know. I will try to make myself a little more noticed, though.

Catherine smiled her most friendly smile and nodded. On the inside she wanted to kick herself. She had wanted to make an older, more experienced woman make a mistake by giving her false information. That in itself had obviously been stupidly dangerous, considering what she was dealing with. Now she had even managed to give the beautiful princess advice that might make it easier for her to get close to the prince. The only real advantage she had had over the princess had been the fact that she was quiet and did not push herself to the foreground to speak to the prince. It was too easy to see this now that she had ruined it.

“I have to admit I am afraid not to be able to catch his attention,” the princess was saying. “I offended a suitor of mine by accepting the invitation, and if gossip about the true nature of our visits should get out, I risk losing everything. My older brother will inherit the throne, and I was hoping to rise above him in status by marriage.”

Catherine smiled and nodded politely. She sipped some tea.

“Well, I make it sound so dramatic. Really there is little reason to believe that something like this would be a true problem. Magic is not forbidden in our country, and who can blame me for trying my luck?”

Catherine nodded again and sipped more tea. She tried to get her thoughts together, but all she could think about was the shiny, soft hair of the woman in front of her and the dusty streets of her life so far. A spark of hope lit up in her mind. Maybe she had given the prince a tougher choice by giving the princess an advantage. If all the women seemed desirable, he might not know which one to chose.

Maybe, if she made good friends with the ones that he was most likely to choose, she could tell them the truth when he married them. If the future crown princess was her friend she would not throw her out on the streets.

“Catherine, are you feeling well?”

She looked up at the princess and smiled, then nodded. She pointed to her head.

“Were you lost in your thoughts?”

She nodded.

“Were they thoughts of consequence?”

She shook her head and smiled again. The princess was about to say something when the bells of a small clock behind Catherine interrupted them. She turned around and looked at the contraption, sensing the princess' gaze turning in the same direction.

“I suppose we should get ready for lunch now?”

Catherine, who did not trust her own abilities to read a clock, or her remembering when lunch started, just smiled. Princess Iris reached across the table and picked up a small bell. She shook it. There was a long moment's awkward silence before Ingrid came in.

“Please close the door behind you for a moment,” princess Iris said quietly. Ingrid lifted an eyebrow and obeyed, sending Catherine a look.

“Catherine. I know that you are lying. I know that no one has taken vows of silence for so long that it is quite unlikely that anyone would seriously consider using one now. I know that the prince is not attracted to strong women and I know that you are most likely not a noble of any kind. The only thing I have yet to find out is why you are here and who you really are.”

Ingrid remained at the door. Catherine looked back at her, but found no help in the other woman's frozen face. She shifted uncomfortably, but did not speak. The princess looked at her intently. Catherine felt her pulse behind her ears. The tea she had sipped seemed halfway up her throat again. It sounded like her breaths were loud enough that people should be able to hear them through the closed doors. The only thing in her field of vision were the princess' dark eyes, digging into hers.

“Fine,” she said, when it was absolutely clear that none of them were going to speak. “I have a feeling that you are not dangerous as such, and I will give you the benefit of doubt. But I will ask you to keep your distance. I have no need for people like you close to me. Please leave now.”

Ingrid still did not move. Catherine was stuck in her uncomfortable position in the floor and was unable to get up. Just as she considered actually speaking to ask for help, princess Iris seemed to take some pity on her.

“Your lady is embarrassed, maid. Are you not going to help her?”

Ingrid finally left her place and came to Catherine's rescue.

“Sorry, my lady,” she whispered, as her mouth came close enough to Catherine's ears for her to hear it. She helped her get on her feet and then led the way out of the rooms. Catherine felt her face grow more and more warm with shame. She had never felt so small, so selfish and so dirty in her life.

As soon as the door opened, the princess spoke again.

“It was a pleasure, Lady Catherine. I hope we will meet at dinner!”

This time Catherine did not manage to smile or nod. She stared at Ingrid's back all that way back to her own rooms, where she was delighted to see that they were alone.

“How'd she find that out? How could she? Who is that woman?”

“You will have to go to his majesty with this,” Ingrid was saying. Catherine stopped talking and slumped down on a chair at the wall.

“I will?”

“I can not do it again, not so soon. I just can not. It is your opinion he wants and you are the one who somehow got yourself revealed.”

“I-” Catherine did not know what to say. There was nothing for her to say. She got back up and started walking across the large, gleaming floors.



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Chapter 7, part 4

The princess' rooms were luxurious, but seemed slightly smaller than Catherine's. Of course, that would depend how much space was behind the doors she had yet to go through. They were kept dim by long, gauze-like curtains and re-lit by candles and lamps. It seemed the princess had had some furniture of her own brought along, at least Catherine had not expected to see the low table with cushions in the middle of the room instead of something like the sofas of her own rooms.

Princess Iris had changed into something impossibly long and flowing that she would not be able to walk many steps in. She was lounging on a pillow in a way that would have seemed arrogant if she had not worn such an honest, inviting smile on her lips. Despite her envy of the other woman's beauty, Catherine could not help herself. She felt attracted to her friendly eyes and found herself wanting desperately to impress her.

She looked at the cushions tentatively, not sure of how to sit down in her large dress. Before she could embarrass herself, Ingrid was at her side, pushing the fabric aside enough that Catherine could sit down. It was even more uncomfortable than standing up had been. Stiff things were poking at her everywhere, it was difficult to breathe and she was certain she looked ridiculous.

“Oh no, I am so sorry, Catherine,” Princess Iris said. “I should have told someone that we would be following my customs and not yours. Do forgive me.” Catherine had to bite her tongue before forcing a friendly smile onto her face and shaking her head dismissively. The princess smiled back.

“I am so happy you could join me. You see, I have been avoiding the company of most of the others here. Everyone seems to have so many hidden agendas and I find it disturbing.”

She looked at Catherine with bright eyes for a moment, then raised her eyebrows.

“I am sorry, I forget that you are not allowed to speak. It is a most honourable thing you are doing, my dear. Sacrificing for the sake of your parent. Do you find it difficult to keep quiet, may I ask?”

Catherine thought about her answer for a moment, then decided that the truth was, conveniently, more convincing than anything else. She nodded.

A maid came and served them tea in small glasses when she left, she looked at Ingrid pointedly and whispered something. Ingrid followed her out. Catherine did not move to touch it, remembering the many warnings she had had. Both the ones regarding poison - though she doubted that the princess was a potential threat - and the ones regarding etiquette.

“Do you wish to marry him?”

Catherine looked up at the princess. Her face was calm and friendly, the only emotion Catherine could detect was curiosity. She took a deep breath and went over her own plan in her mind. Either way she needed the confidence of as many of the women as possible. She had a feeling she was playing with forces much larger than herself.

She shook her head and smiled slightly.

“I was beginning to think so,” she said, shaking her head. She raised her glass and took a small sip of her tea.

“I would like to marry him. As would all the others, of course. He is quite a catch, if you do not mind … him. Is it that you are not interested in money?”

Catherine shrugged.

“The power scares you?”

She nodded.

“Maybe you do not wish to remain here, so far away from your own?”

She shrugged. The princess sipped her tea again, carefully placing the small glass back on the table. This time Catherine followed suit.

“I believe I could get used to the country. The customs might cause me some trouble, but what am I born for if not acquiring knowledge of foreign things? I must confess I find the language easier than I had feared.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping their tea and smiling politely and warmly respectively. Catherine was beginning to feel a little more sure of herself. The role she was supposed to play really did fit very well with her own goal as well of those of the prince. All she needed to do was to make sure the prince did not realise what she was doing. But even in his eyes she was a little, innocent peasant. She did not think he would expect her to act on her own behalf.

“The prince is rather one of a kind. Have you known him long?”

Catherine nodded once, pushing her fingers together to signify something small.

“Spoken to him on several occasions, then?”

She nodded.

“Do you think I stand a chance? What do you think he prefers in a woman?”

Catherine did not need to think about it for long. The message about Princess Anna had been all to clear. She raised her arms and pretended to flex her muscles.

“Strength?” The princess' voice rose a few tones. “You mean confidence,” she suggested.

Catherine nodded, the lifted her finger and pointed to her arms.

“Also physical strength?”

She nodded again.

“I suppose for a soldier it makes sense to value such things. I have not been taught much that even resembles strength. Is there anything else?”

Catherine gestured to her mouth, smiling and rolling her eyes a little.

“Women who speak? Speak their minds? That is like confidence.”

Catherine made a wide gesture with her arms.

“Women who … have broad perspectives?”

She shook her head and gestured to her mouth again, then touched her ears.

“Being loud?”

She nodded.

“Catherine, you are telling me stories, are you not?”

Something froze in her at the question. She forced herself to keep the easy smile on her face and would have given anything to know for certain that her eyes did not give away her fear. She shook her head, trying not to breathe too loudly. She no longer had any idea if she looked natural.

“I must say I was not expecting something so difficult,” the princess said. Catherine looked at her closely, trying to determine whether or not she was the subject of conversation.



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Chapter 7, part 3

The morning did prove to be interesting. The prince joined them without making any prior announcements, and began engaging them in conversation at random. He even said a few words to Catherine, wishing her good luck, wishing her mother good luck and making a point of telling her a small anecdote about the man who was supposed to be her father.

It worked like he had said he hoped it would. When he left her, she was the centre of discreet attention. Princess Iris and Princess Anna, yet again complementing each other, this time even in contrasting dresses, came to stand at her side. Princess Iris whispered an invitation for tea in her ear. Catherine smiled and nodded in confirmation.

Princess Anna, the strong-looking woman, who the prince had described as manly despite her pretty face, leaned in.

“I did not realise you knew him so well, my lady. Will you be seeing more of his majesty while you are here?”

Catherine shrugged and shook her head. The prince glanced at her but did not make any sign that he had noticed the exchange.

“You are not here … by invitation?”

Catherine shrugged again, waving her hand back and forth to signify disinterest. It seemed to work; Princess Anna took a small step back and looked at her more closely. The prince came strolling towards them, a worrying grin on his face.

“Naturally she is here by invitation. You are all here as my honoured guests. In fact, I believe it is on time that I am honest with you all.”

He made a sign towards the doors, and two servants closed them, stepping out of the room as they did.

“I realise that I am breaking every social protocol, my dear friends, but I hope you will forgive me. You are all here for the same reason.”

The room grew quiet. Catherine looked around at the women, and did not see much surprise or shame. Only three women did look as if they had not know that fact, though she suspected that their open-mouthed looks of horror were more for show than out of true disbelief.

They all stood up, two of them forming words of protest, the last one keeping quiet. After a brief confusion, they all went towards the door in silence. The prince bowed at them, a mocking grin on his face, which did not seem to ease their outrage. The doors closed behind them.

“I assume that we can speak freely now,” he said, looking around at the neutral faces.

“I did cast a spell, and it did choose each one of you as a good match for me. Catherine held his eyes for a second, noticing a strange uncertainty in them before he looked away. “The only problem is the fact that there are many of you here. I wish to choose the one among you who is most likely to be happy at my side, and allow the rest of you to go home and continue as if nothing ever happened. I apologise for my lack of complete honesty with you in the beginning, but I sincerely hope that you will not suffer any consequences from your choice to join me here under the guise of a friendly visit to our magnificent city.”

None of the eight other women left in the room looked thrilled. Princess Anna mumbled something under her breath in a language that was probably not being used for the sake of the prince.

“I suggest that you continues as before and allow me a chance to get to know you better,” the prince continued. “Of course I will not oblige if either of you should want to leave now.”

The women continued to sit still. Catherine gathered that none of them were interested in leaving, and that none of them wanted to be the first one to say so. There was no knowing how much gossip might still spread. The prince smiled benevolently at them all, one by one, then left the room. The women got up and left in turn, still not speaking.

“Catherine!” She looked up and saw Princess Iris looking at her. She smiled.

“Will you still join me for tea? I hope this is not all too shocking for you?”

Catherine nodded, waved and shook her head. She smiled at the princess.

“Then I will see you in an hour, my friend,” she said, and left the room behind the others. Something jingled every time she moved her left foot, and Catherine felt jealous of her natural, easy beauty. She kept the smile on her face and followed Ingrid to her rooms.

“This is very good, my lady,” Ingrid said. Her face was prettier when she was happy, Catherine noticed. It made her eyes seem less cold.

“Princess Iris is actually quite withdrawn. Princess Anna is the only other person who has been invited to see her in private. His majesty will be happy to hear of your progress.”

Catherine smiled and nodded. She was afraid to speak now, in case she forgot herself in the presence of the princess. Something inside her felt uneasy since last night, and she was afraid it might cause her to loose her concentration, whatever it was.

Deep in thought, she was surprised to find someone tugging at her dress. She spun around and noticed the maid, who was looking at her in confusion. She remembered then; she would have to change her clothes. It seemed like a ridiculous amount of work for such a small benefit. She doubted anyone would notice her clothes if they would only stop constantly changing it.

“Do you have anything slightly more … relaxed?” she asked the maid.

“My lady, I was informed you would be having tea with the princess,” she answered, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean something less heavy,” she explained. The woman looked her up and down a few times.

“I am sorry, my lady, but I've been told to dress you well, but old fashioned. This style was very popular about a decade ago. I could not find you anything else without ruining the look.” Her voice was stern, as if Catherine had insulted her family. She gave up, and thought about the slim, pretty dresses the princess in question always wore. She looked so much more graceful, much more like any sort of royalty than she did.

It cost her a lot of confidence to walk down the hallways, stairs and streets that led her to the building where she would find the princess. Her hair had been made up into a giant shape that resembled her father's old clock more than anything. It was miles away from the long, silky strands that flew freely from the princess' shoulders.



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Chapter 7, part 2

“What happened to the children? Did you really take them with you?”

“I had given her my word, and it was her last will. I did not have a choice if I wanted to continue to see myself as a man of honour.”

Catherine smiled and wiped her eyes again, happy that they stayed dry that time.

“Where are they now?”

The prince shrugged again.

“In my service.”

Catherine nodded. His voice had changed, and she suspected that he would not tolerate many more questions or tears on her behalf. She did not understand why he had allowed her to speak so freely in the first place. He had seemed to want to kill her when he entered the room. Now he was thoughtfully fingering her blanket.

“We need a plan, my dear. You said the women were on edge?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you think they are feeling more bored or jealous?”

Catherine thought about it. There had been plenty of lively conversations. She was sure some of them felt bored, but the fact that they were all still present spoke of iron wills. She could not imagine that any of them were happy with the danger of their situations or the fact that they had a very high risk of being sent home in disgrace.

“It's more likely they're jealous, isn't it, sir?”

“I'd think so. Do you think they'll be more likely to feel distressed if I start spending a little time with some of them? Keep in mind I want them to show their true colours.”

“I don't know, sir. They all seemed so sure of themselves. Do something they don't expect, I think.”

“Officially they are all just here for social reasons. I never said aloud that the purpose is for a magic spell to help me pick a bride. But I made sure to tell each of them in private that she had been picked out and would have to wait. Now, I am very certain that they are all aware of my slight dishonesty at this time, but the question is how many of them are willing to admit to anything. The ones who left obviously were not.”

“Tell them all the truth, sir.” Catherine spoke before she could think, and immediately regretted it, but the prince just looked at her.

“That might be the best idea,” he said, nodding his head. “It would certainly force them to show their hands and make it a little more likely that they seek out advice from someone who knows me.”

He stood up, wiping at the soiled blankets for a moment, then thinking better of it.

“I will speak to Ingrid and see how she feels. If you are not told of any changes, be ready for an interesting morning. Goodnight, my dear.”

“Goodnight, sir.”

“I will call for someone to clean up this mess. You could go and have a bath in the meantime,” he said as he was leaving. He limped slightly and was pressing a hand against his ribs.

She did as he suggested, enjoying the warm water and finally feeling more like herself. She shuddered when she realised that the smell of the prince's clothes clung to the side of her face and hair as well as the clothes she had been wearing. She scrubbed herself as hard as she dared when remembering that she would have to look presentable in the morning.

The prince was confusing her. She did not like his company, and she could not relax when he was anywhere near her, but his story suggested that he was a far better person than he seemed. She assumed that the use of illegal mean to make an end to such suffering was not as bad as it had sounded on her father's lips.

On the other hand there was no disputing that he was an angry, dangerous man. And the way he treated the women he had brought with him did not put him in a favourable light. She was not sure if she understood their choice. They were, at worst, risking their futures at the chance of spending their lives at the prince's side. Power and wealth seemed to be very addictive.

Her few short days at the castle had taught her to worry and feel bad about herself. She could see the appeal of having the option to take a warm bath in the middle of the night while somebody took care of her dirty things. And she could certainly see how the surroundings might cause someone to make bad choices. She would never have thought that she would sit in a marble tub with golden ornaments.

The thought reminded her that she would still need to find a life for herself when the prince was done with her. He had promised her an incredibly large sum of money - on a weekly basis, even - but she did not want to count on that. She did not trust that she would be able to.

She did not like the thought of leaving behind so much luxury just to be back on the street. These rooms would be empty when she left, most likely for years, as only the people invited by the prince himself even were allowed into the area. That was peculiar either way. The king must really be wary to make any official statements regarding the prince if he did not even demand to know what he was doing on this enormous property. She could not see how the king wanted to prove or disprove anything when he could not follow the prince's daily life.

As far as she remembered from school, it was simply tradition to leave society's most privileged to do as they pleased. It had not been worded like that, but between her own understanding and her father's explanation that was what she had understood.

She drew a towel around herself and looked in one of the large mirrors on the wall. The bruise on her face had faded so much that it could have been the way the light fell on her. Her hair was shiny and prettier then she remembered it having ever been. She was still ugly, but when her face had been covered in make-up earlier, she had almost looked passable. They had put red colour on the middle of her lips, so they appeared less wide, put emphasis on her eyes so it was easier to overlook her long nose. She had felt uncomfortable, as if she was wearing a mask, but it had still been nice to have someone cover up her faults.

The prince wanted his life back to normal as fast as possible. But when his was normal again, hers would be too. She did not want her normal life back so soon. Maybe when she had grown tired of the stress of having to look and speak right she would be ready for the stress of not knowing when she would eat again.

She would do her best to drag out the decision.



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Chapter 7, part 1

“I don't understand, sir. What do those people have to do with war?”

“You've been living your life in a city that has not seen a battle for almost three hundred years. We have expanded this kingdom far beyond its original borders. It is the people at the borders who pay the price for our power and wealth.

“When I was your age I discovered life outside the castle, and with it, opportunities to put some of my training to the test. I got into terrific fights with gangs of orphans the first few times I went out. Disguised, naturally, and in all secrecy so no one could stop me.” At the last sentence, a bit of the gravity left his voice and Catherine smiled at the thought of the little boy sneaking out. It was nice to remember that he had been young.

“My training continued and I decided to pursue a further career in the military. That is encouraged either way. Of course, nobody knew how often I snook out at night and had some fun on my own.” His voice had gotten even lighter and Catherine could hear a smile. “I imagined that life would continue that way. I did not see anything dishonourable in eventually killing other men who felt as I did. I thought all soldiers were men who simply enjoyed fighting for what ever reason they found important. I imagined battle to be the ultimate test to my abilities, and nothing more.

“When I went to the border to fight in the area around a state we had recently invaded, I was still full of these dreams. Then we reached the front. It was a sad place, trodden into muddy fields by the many boots, kept up by old men and women who were unable to stand the cold. I heard my brothers scream as their limbs were amputated. That was when I realised that it is not always a fight to the death.

“As we rode onwards into the lands we had invaded, it was the sight of sick, hungry children running barefoot in the snow that finally cured me of my hunger for honour. Young women sold their bodies to provide for their babies and siblings. Older women starved.

“We stayed in the area for many months, fighting off and killing frightened young men who had no other choice than to place themselves in front of their lands. By then I had long since abandoned my honour and went along with the madness. As peace slowly came, as we slowly killed everyone who fought us, I began to feel better about the entire thing. After all, the people who were left were now a part of our glorious kingdom and would surely live to thank us.

“I stayed with a few of my men in the house of a small family. The mother was only a few years older than me, and took care of her three children alone. Her husband had been killed before the last one had been born. She did not like us, but our money kept her from being openly hostile. We left, moving onwards to secure a few smaller areas. When we came back a year later, I wanted to see if they were still healthy. The little children had somehow left an impression. Or maybe their mother's silent dignity had touched me. I cannot tell you.

“The house had been torn to pieces. The children were living in filth, begging for gerbage from their former neighbours. The mother had been put into prison by our army for stealing grains that were meant to be taken back to this very city as taxes.”

The prince grew quiet. Catherine could not take her eyes off his dirty face. He looked haunted by the memory, and she could understand why he would feel that way. The story he had just told her was horrible, something that she would never forget. She suddenly remembered many of her father's stories in a new light. Large parts of his entire trade depended on such cruelty. She started when the prince spoke again.

“They took her to the beach one early fall morning. It was a beautiful day. The sun was so white, the sky was bright. A little wind, just enough for the seagulls to ride on, created perfect waves. She recognised me. I could tell that she had been crying so much that she could not do it anymore. She begged me to help her children, swore that she would spend her entire afterlife taking care of me if I would only do something for them. I promised her to take them with me.

“She looked so peaceful after that. Her body was destroyed by hunger and torture, but her face lit up, and she started singing an autumn hymn. She did not stop before they had let her into the icy water and pushed her head under the waves.”

Catherine had been holding her breath. Theft was often punished by death, but she had never heard of a crime so small and so understandable being punished so harshly. When the prince finished his story she found herself crying like a baby. No matter how embarrassed she was to let him see her tears, she could not help herself.

Sobs shook her entire body. She could sense him tensing up next to her, but he did not shout. After a few moments she felt his hand on her shoulder.

“Catherine, I apologise. I do not know why I told you that. It is unforgivable of me to have upset you so.”

She shook her head, but she could not see if he saw it. A handkerchief was pushed into her open hand, and she gratefully wiped her face with it.

“Don't be sorry,” she said, tears still rolling down her cheeks. “I just didn't expect it to be so horrible. I never thought about any of this.”

The prince shrugged and looked away. It seemed to be more out of respect than anger, which warmed her heart towards him yet a little more.

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Chapter 6, part 5

The deep, sweet darkness of sleep enveloped her. She was still feeling the softness of her pillows against her face, but she was no longer conscious of the world around her. Images and sounds of another place were taking shape behind her closed eyelids and she breathed slowly.

Sharp lights burned her eyes, and loud sounds blew away the other world inside her head. Her body reacted to the adrenaline, and she was flung halfway across the giant bed by her own panicked reaction before her eyes had a chance to focus. She was aware of a great danger, but she was unable to understand what, how or where. Something came rushing towards her, the same thing that seemed to be causing the noise and somehow the lights.

Prince Alexander grabbed her shoulders, the doors to his study wide open and still moving away from the wall where they had caused the impact that had woken her up. His face was bloody and bruised, his hair was clotted with either mud or blood. Blood was spraying across the silken night gown she was wearing as he crushed her shoulders against his stinky chest. She finally managed to scream, but the prince did not react. He was roaring something she could not hear.

His shirt smelled of vomit and urine, and it was soaking her face. At this realisation she began struggling against his grip. He roared like an animal and shook her violently before holding her tightly again. They somehow ended up awkwardly seated on the side of the bed. The prince sagged against her, his weight crushing her further.

She dared not move again. The prince's breaths were hard and shallow, like she imagined those of a dying person would be. She was horrified at her own cruelty when she felt a touch of happy relief at the thought. The guilt made her hold on to his arms to make sure he did not slip when he went as good as limp, helping him to lie against the headboard and leaning into his smelly, wet clothes. As for the leaning in, his clutched fist in her hair left her no real choice.

There was a long silence. She tried to imagine how much time might have passed but she was too sleepy to have any idea of it. It seemed to be hours since she had been falling asleep in her bed, alone in the dark, but the image of light somehow streaming from him to the lamps as he closed the distance between them was still so close in her mind that she assumed it had been less.

As time continued to pass she felt her eyelids grow heavy despite herself. She was still terrified that he might suddenly move, shake her, or roar again, and her joints still pained from the rush of his entrance. The last thing she wanted was to fall asleep on his chest.

It was a weird feeling being so close to him. The last person she had been close to had been Gabrielle, and there had not been anyone before her. She imagined that she might have been close to her father if it had not been for the unfortunate circumstances of her birth. She was not comfortable with the closeness, but there was still a sort of comfort. She enjoyed the sound of a heartbeat, and if he had not been drenched in fluids she did not want to know the names of, the heat from his chest would have been nice as well.

Considering the aspect of comfort in their strange embrace brought unwanted thoughts to her mind; long since forgotten dreams of a loving mother, the jealousy she had felt at the sight of her half-siblings in their mother's arms. She pushed away the thoughts all together and focused on sitting still enough that she would not disturb her sleeping prince.

“This situation is impossible,” he said slowly. His voice was hoarse. Catherine opened her eyes, only the realising that they had been closed. “We will have to work quickly to find the best solution we can in as short time as possible. You are ruining my life.”

“I don't mean to, sir,” she said. He made a noise that could signify either annoyance or mirth, she could not tell which.

“I am glad to hear you are out of excuses, my dear.”

“Sir, do you know you're bleeding?”

He pushed her away slightly and looked down at the space she left behind, then as far up his own body as he could. He would not be able to see any of the large blood stains. He furrowed his brow and sat up straighter, almost letting completely go of her.

“Where've you been, sir? Is everything in order?”

“Everything is fine. I went out to amuse myself for a bit, that is all.”

“You've been in a fight, sir.”

“I know.”

“But why?”

“I went out to amuse myself, like I said.” His friendly tone encouraged her to ask him again. Something about the situation made her feel less like a burden and more like just another person. He did not remind her of his usual harsh self at all.

“Did you fight to amuse yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“It is not as strange as it sounds, my dear. It is not the first time I do so. You should know that I have only just returned from battle, surely a bar fight can not surprise you that much.”

I didn't know bar fights were fun. And I didn't know war and bar fights are the same,” she said, considering his suggestions.

Nothing could be further from the truth! I must have confused you. War and battle is more than just fighting soldiers. Much more.”

“How? What else is there?”

The prince fell back against the headboard again, running a dirty hand across his face and through his hair. It pushed around the blood and grime already there, drawing a line across his face that followed the scar on his throat.

“There are innocent women and children, lives of people who have no way of defending themselves. There are people who go absolutely mad. I had a very good reason for turning to magic, and I knew how much it could cost me.”



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