søndag den 1. maj 2011

Chapter 1, part 5

Jan returned four days later, and was received warmly by his wife and their two children. His wife explained to him that Catherine would not be home for another few weeks. He was concerned at first, but accepted that she was staying with their friends and would be  fine. He planned to go and see her, but something in his wife face made him keep that decision to himself. Something was wrong and she clearly did not want to talk about it. He would do anything to keep off the subject of Catherine anyway.

Over the years he had detached himself more and more from the girl in an attempt to win back his wife's favour. So far it had been in vain, but it certainly would not help to talk about her. He had brought the twins small trinkets from the traders he had been meeting with. He had brought something for Catherine too, but thoughts of Martha had made him scared of overdoing it.

The first few days were spent in almost bliss as far as he was concerned. Martha did not want them to go out, so they stayed in the house on in the small garden and enjoyed each others' company. Jan could not remember ever spending such days with his family. It seemed almost as if Martha had finally forgiven her. A small part of him insisted it was because the proof of his mistake was no longer around, but the rest of him just felt ashamed.

The shame grew with time, and before he had been home for a week, he made excuses and left, supposedly for his storehouse, but as soon as he was out of sight, he went to the Peggs'. He noticed a few neighbours looking at him strangely, but assumed it was because he had been away for so long. He reached the Pegg house and knocked on the door. There were happy voices sounding from the other side of the door. He could hear Catherine laughing, and his stomach felt like ice. He had not heard her laughing like that. Ever.

He had ignored Martha's obvious dislike of the girl ever since he first brought her to the house in the hopes that Martha would somehow forget as long as he did not remind her. Hearing the girl laugh so happily when in the company of strangers made him understand that he had gone too far. She had been as unhappy as he and his wife despite having no blame. On the other hand, he could hardly speak to his wife about this, They had been so happy without Catherine around.

The door was opened, and Amanda Pegg stared at him in wide-eyed surprise.

“Jan, what are you doing here?” She looked at something behind her, obscured from his view by the door, and seemed suddenly nervous.

“Did Martha send you?”

“No,” he said. His brow furrowed. “Is everything all right?”

“Well...” Amanda seemed completely disturbed by his presence, then straightened her back, looked him in the eyes and smiled. “Of course it is. Why don't you come inside?”

Amanda stepped away from the door and let him in. He nodded his head in thanks and brushed his boots off on the mat that had been laid down inside the house. There was a fire going and it smelled as if Amanda had been cooking. He looked around the room and noticed Catherine sitting with her back turned to him in the other end of the room. She had been playing some sort of game with the Peggs' daughter Gabrielle, who had risen to greet him, polite as usual, but Catherine remained where she was.

Something about the entire situation made him keep quiet. Catherine looked as she usually did, he supposed. Her thick, dark hair was tied in a messy braid that almost touched the floor in her seated position, since she refused to let anyone cut it most of the time, her long arms were looking skinny as usual (another pang of guilt hit him at that - had Martha not been feeding the girl?), but her dress was new. It looked as if she had inherited it from Gabrielle, as the sleeves were slightly too tight.

He walked around her and noticed the big, bluish bruises on her face with the features that had always seemed too large - mouth too wide, nose too big, large eyebrows and eyes that fit. She had a healing cut on her forehead and her arm had been bandaged. Jan stopped moving and simply stared at her for a moment.

“What happened?” he asked, quietly. No one immediately had an answer for him. Something inside him started to move, and when he spoke again, his voice sounded loud and angry. “What happened to her?”

Amanda had  followed him across the room and now put her hand on his shoulder. She gently asked him to sit down and have a cup of tea with her, where the two girls could not overhear them. He allowed her to lead him away, but was unable to take his eyes off his daughter, his mind racing. Catherine had not moved in the slightest, her eyes still fixed on the pieces of the game she had been playing. Gabrielle seemed frozen to the spot, end did not move before her mother waved her away.

“I've been wondering what I'd tell people,” said Amanda as she sat him down at the rough work table in the spacious kitchen.

“What people,” Jan asked. “Why don't you just tell me what happened,” he clarified. Amanda seemed to hesitate once more, so he repeated it.

“I'm sorry that no one … told you about it,” she said awkwardly. “There was an incident. That is ...” She furrowed her brows and sighed, clearly getting upset. The she straightened her back in the same way she had done moments earlier in the door.

“Martha thought Catherine stole some money after Catherine had stayed out too late. The money had been gone when she went to ask her why she hadn't been home, and apparently she threw her out of the house and told her to stay in the barn.” Amanda ignored Jane’s incredulous expression. “Catherine went back inside after a while to … well, I think she wanted to talk to Martha, probably give her a piece of her mind, but then she found out that Lillian had taken the money to get her in trouble, and the girls started fighting. When Martha walked in on them, she saw Catherine delivering a blow to Lillian, and she must have jumped to conclusions. She scolded her and wanted her to return to the barn to stay there, and...” She trailed off.

“And she broke her arm,” Jan whispered, slowly getting out of his chair.

“Well, I … That is … I don't know. She threw her down the kitchen stairs, and Catherine landed on the stones.”

Amanda seemed more than ashamed for her friend. Jan did not know what to think. He could not find a reasonable solution to any of it. Amanda seemed to understand. She put her hand on his shoulder again and gently pushed him towards the door.

“Why don't you go home and think it over? I promise I'll take care of her. Just come back when you know what to do. You must have known it couldn't go on forever, Jan.”

Jan nodded  dumbly and stepped outside, carefully closing the door behind him. He could almost feel Catherine's presence in the building behind him.



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