The hours went by so slowly that Catherine started thinking she might fall asleep. Alfred and her father had an unlimited supply of stories from their travels, none of which were interesting to anyone who did not know the people, places and customs they were referring to.
She had spent some time observing Alfred. While he was in a way a handsome man, he seemed to be even older than she had at first assumed. Only tiny things alerted it to her, like the careful way he held his cup of tea, so as not to shake his hand and spill, or the tone in his voice when he spoke to Martha; as if she were as young as Catherine.
Her life with him would be terribly boring. He had hardly spared her a glance since she had arrived and still did not seem to be very interested in her. She had not wanted to be the centre of his attention, and certainly not to be attractive to him, but being ignored completely seemed almost just as bad.
She sighed and shook her head slightly without realising that her father had his eyes on her.
Jan was aware that Catherine was unhappy with his decision. He would have preferred for her to find a husband for herself, and someone a lot closer to her age, but his dilemma left him no choice. Through his own fault she did not have the education she would need to work in any kind of responsible position, and he would not allow for her to drag the family name any further through the dirt by doing anything else. She would not be anyone’s maid or nanny.
Alfred was a very old friend of his, and while it was true that the man had been thinking about marriage, he had shown absolutely no interest in Catherine, which was the only reason Jan had even considered it. She would take care of his house and help him out a bit, and he would be gone for most of the year. He had already agreed not to marry her before she was older, and he was well enough off to afford her a few luxuries, like learning how to read and do maths, even before he was obliged to take care of her.
It was a way to get her out of the house, to have her safe and taken care of and to give her the opportunity to take care of her own life. It was not quite enough to make up for his mistake, but it was the best he could do without putting his own marriage and happiness to risk.
Martha had served them their tea and left them alone. Jan would have liked her to be there to show Catherine support, but he could understand why that might not work out. Martha had only had a polite smile for the girl, and Catherine had barely acknowledged her presence. The air was clearer without her in the room.
He had always liked Alfred. The man was very talented at what he did, always able to make everything work out to his own benefit and helpful towards anyone who he considered a friend. He had enjoyed talking to him and catching up, but Catherine's unwilling display of distress reminded him that he should not let the opportunity be wasted by letting her work up the courage to do something stupid and run off.
“Alfred, my friend, maybe it's time the two of you talk? I'm sure there's plenty for you two to work out without my help.”
Alfred sat up straighter in his seat and shot a glance at Catherine who was trying to compose herself. His face softened and he looked up at Jan who was already walking towards the door.
“Of course. We'll come out and talk to you in a moment.”
Jan left the room and softly closed the door behind him leaving the two people still inside in an awkward silence. Catherine was biting her lip and hid her hands in the folds of her skirt where she grabbed on to the hem so tightly that her fingers started tingling. She could not get herself to look him in the eye, knowing that they were supposed to discuss their future lives together.
“Well, my dear,” Alfred said, breaking the silence. “I assume this is a bit difficult for you, eh? Don't worry about it. Your dad explained some of the situation to me, and the rest is more than obvious.” He nodded towards her still bandaged arm but did not get a reply and did not seem to expect one. Catherine made herself look him in the eye as he spoke, not wanting him to know just how afraid she was.
“The wedding can wait a few years, if you ask me. You'll come and help out with the household till then, and we can work out a date when you're ready. I'll be going away next month, so you should be ready to move in before then. I wont be home before the end of the year, and I'll be going away again soon after that.”
Catherine worked up her courage and finally opened her mouth.
“Do you always travel so much? Later, I mean. My dad said you wanted to have someone to - inherit and, well ...” She trailed off, blushing against her will.
“Oh, don't worry about that just yet. I mean when the time comes we'll find someone who can come and stay and help you out, all right? I already have a housekeeper, a very respectable old girl, so you won't be lonely.”
“I see. Thank you,” she said lamely. He smiled warmly at her.
“Don't worry about it. I'm glad to be able to help you all out.”
He rose and went into the kitchen, leaving the still blushing Catherine alone in the darkening room. She was like a burden being passed on from one man to the other. Alfred clearly saw her as Jan's small trouble-causing daughter more than a future wife. It should be a relief, but it felt like a bitter disappointment.
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